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Usage Attribution 3. Incredibly, in the '60s the only medium to show total racial equality by reversing the power roles was the underground fetish industry.

Here, dominant black women literally beat Whitey's ass. A lovely but dumb blonde learns you shouldn't play the bongos when your mistress is napping.

The enraged mistress, a young Condoleezza Rice it sure looks like her , puts on a special glove and uses her slave as a human bongo drum.

Blondie fights back and gets the upper hand, but is soon overpowered and given a lengthy flogging.

It had been over four years since my last relationship, and I was tired of the long stretches without sex. I was worried I didn't know how to be in a relationship any more and that I'd lost my skills in the bedroom.

So when I finally activated an OkCupid account in the spring, I didn't expect so many white men to reach out to me or for them to move so quickly into revealing their fetish for black women.

One guy even referred to me as an "ebony girl," as if I belonged in a tag on a porn site. I largely ignored the men asking me to dominate them, which happened as frequently as every third or fourth message, but they did make me wonder: Were these men simply casting out a large net in hopes of catching anyone, or was there something about me that served as a beacon to white male submissives?

Or was it simply enough that I was a black woman that made them reach out? I wasn't averse to dating outside of my race. I'd done it before with mixed results.

As I headed into my late thirties, though, I thought of all the opportunities of sexual exploration I'd been denied because it may have interfered with an ex's "manhood," or because of my own lack of confidence.

I frequently held myself back from approaching white men because I didn't think they'd be attracted to me physically or because of cultural differences.

Yet here were several white men presenting themselves to me — even if I had to weed out the creeps, just as I would have to do offline. It would be foolish to continue to deny myself.

All of this coincided with my decision to make the year of new adventures and to stop being afraid of taking chances.

So when I received a message from a white man in his early twenties asking if I wanted deep conversation or a sub, I decided to say "fuck it" and go for it.

After a few messages, I gave him my Google Voice number and we began texting. For example, he told me he liked to watch joi porn. After a quick search, I discovered the world of "jerk off instruction.

Because he was still pretty new to being a sub, I felt more comfortable allowing the relationship to progress. I felt safer, realizing we would be experiencing our sexual awakenings together, in a sense.

Close-cropped, wavy strawberry blond hair framed a face that made me second-guess his age and whether or not I could go through with whatever was about to happen.

I checked his ID. He was the age he said he was, which was old enough to drink, but the double-digit age gap between us still left me wary.

He was visibly relieved to see me yet also nervous. When I made him go into the restroom and change into a pair of my panties I'd brought for him, he stumbled.

He modeled the underwear as best he could in a public setting, and there was no doubt about his state of arousal.

He liked to be humiliated, and the thought that someone might see him in my panties had him erect.

He went to work wearing them that same day and frequently texted me his thanks. Seeing him in the bikinis did nothing for me sexually, but making him wear them did give me a rush.

I wasn't turned on by the thought of him in my underwear, but by the power play itself. I wondered what else I could get away with making him do.

I asked him why he reached out to me, what made him think it was OK to offer himself as a sub to me. He said he thought I looked lovely and was just taking a chance.

Further prodding revealed he had explored some sub behavior with another older black woman. He liked the maturity of black women and how we don't put up with a lot of bullshit.

He said white women his age were vapid and frequently dismissed him because of his youthful appearance. Because of his age and appearance, I didn't feel threatened by his ignorance, even though his desire for a Strong Black Woman to take control of him sexually was an echo of other messages I'd received via OkCupid.

I also overlooked it this time because I wanted to test the limits of my sexuality. As my relationship with Baby Sub progressed, I was surprised at how easily some domme behavior came to me.

Small things like forbidding him from interrupting me while I talked were thrilling. I made sure never to punish in anger, but being able to express my anger and his fear of it were exciting — and I didn't have to worry about him passive-aggressively punishing me for my anger by hanging out all night with his friends or by flirting with other women, or even cheating.

I could be aggressive, but it was usually with the purpose of getting the guy I was with to ramp up his own aggression. But there were limits.

Whenever I had expressed a desire to do something basic like tie up my partner or blindfold him, I was met with resistance, which led to discussions about masculinity, not to mention straight-up fear: The thought that I might do "butt stuff" to my boyfriends while they were tied up was too much for them to bear.

It was frustrating that I was expected to be the only one willing to experiment sexually and that my then-boyfriends couldn't trust me enough to respect their boundaries.

Still, when I told my male friends about what was happening in my sex life, they weren't surprised. In fact, one friend was shocked it had taken me so long to get to that point.

My love of men on their knees is no secret among my friends. And neither is my sexual appetite. My love for receiving head and wanting sex as much as I can get it are favorite subjects of mine.

Add being a feminist and my love for Wonder Woman, a character somewhat created from kink , into the mix, and I guess my guy friends figured I would've donned the latex and leather a while ago.

But even with Baby Sub, I never wore the expected leather and latex uniform of a dominatrix. Instead, I shaped my previous experience as an educator for my domme persona.

I made Baby Sub grow his hair out so I could have something to pull. I put him on masturbation restriction. He wasn't allowed to touch himself unless I gave him permission.

When he had too many typos in his texts, I made him call me and repeat an apology, which included calling himself too horny to type properly, until I told him to stop.

He had a journal where he had to answer questions I posed. Sometimes I made him watch porn, knowing he wouldn't be able to give himself any relief.

I did not allow any race play, but I would penalize him when he'd say something ignorant about his experiences with black people, like when he'd disparage the significance of the band within HBCU Historically Black Colleges and Universities culture, belittling what he saw as a lack of musicality.

After a while it was clear he was bringing up racially sensitive subjects to bait me into punishing him, but I stopped that by forbidding him from talking about race.

He was a bratty sub who frequently tried to exert control by doing things he knew would require punishment or trying to manipulate me to get out of punishments, something called "topping from the bottom.

It was annoying and magnified how young he was. And I preferred rewarding him with praise and permission to touch me rather than punishing him, mainly because humiliating him with verbal abuse didn't arouse me.

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